We went to Northern Ireland today. Things are cheaper and we’re poor so it’s a pretty good mix. We went for random things, like sausages you can’t buy in the Republic, deodorant, butter and clothes. Well, I realised something, even I can’t escape greed. These THINGS! Things we don’t need! But I want them and more importantly I don’t want to want them. It’s uncontrollable! I hate them, the corporate brands and labels that cause us to want more and more.
I’m happy with what I’ve got. I am, until advertising and promotions are slammed in our faces. Then everyone gets the “new” thing. Whatever it is. Phones. IPods. Cars. Whatever. I don’t want these things! I don’t need them, I know this and yet I want to belong somewhere, I want to just fit in! So badly, that I want these things. Don’t ask me why I want to fit in, because I don’t know. I just want too. No. I need too, something I actually need to do. I used to feel like I belonged....
I haven’t felt like I have since I left England. Now I’ve feel I’ve changed and now... I won’t fit in anywhere. Ever again. To be accepted and to belong. To find that place, the place where you’re needed, the place where you just fit. I need that again. It was nice. You know, while it lasted.
Anyway, we got cheap alcohol as well which is a plus! Underage drinking is vital to society, without us this recession would have hit years ago. I’m a little confused now about you know finishing school and stuff...
I mean I wanna say “Ok what now? You put me through 14 years of torture and misery, where next? I’ve survived so now what?”
They say “Time to face the real world. Time to go it alone”
I say “Oh yeah, shit.”
